The Marauder's Guide to Marauding at Hogwarts
by The Aussie Slytherin
Summary: Sitting innocently on a shelf in the bookstore is a small book. When you look at it, you would never guess that it was the source of misery for many Hogwarts teachers over the years. And then Harry buys it...
1. Buying the Book from Lyra the Insane Wit...

Hm. I hate it when I get an idea. It just refused to go away. I came up with the title a few months ago, planning to use it in a story (that has never been written). And I was bored and wrote something and then I got the idea for this.  
  
But you probably don't care about how the story came to be. If you really want to know I'll tell you, but otherwise...  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own not much. Lyra, the book, some other things.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The Marauder's Guide to Marauding at Hogwarts  
  
By: The Aussie Slytherin  
  
  
  
  
  
The Beginning: Setting the Scene in the Bookshop  
  
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley followed their close friend Hermione Granger into the bookstore in Diagon Alley with some trepidation.  
  
Both boys knew that Hermione hadn't been into this particular store in over a year, and due to the fact that Hermione is what most people call a bookworm, the boys were rightfully anxious.  
  
As she stepped inside, an expression of absolute bliss settled on her face and she ran to the nearest shelf, beginning her search for a book to buy.  
  
Harry and Ron briefly contemplated making a getaway, but as though reading their minds, Hermione gave them her rather menacing 'If you leave I'll cut out your tongues and hex you all the way to Egypt, now be good boys and go find a book to buy' look.  
  
They knew better than to argue with that look and wandered further inside, loitering behind a shelf.  
  
"Er, Harry," Ron said suddenly, disrupting his friend from his 'absent' state of mind.  
  
"Yes Ron?"  
  
"We're kind of, well, we're in the romance section."  
  
"Oh. Ron?"  
  
"Yes Harry?"  
  
"Do you know where we could find the prank books?"  
  
As Ron shook his head, a witch in her mid-thirties with brown hair appeared beside them. Literally.  
  
"Hi boys! I'm Lyra, I work here, and, do you two need any help?" She looked around in surprise. "Are you buying a present for someone?"  
  
Ron blushed a bit/ "Well, not really, you see - "  
  
"Oh! Are you buying for yourselves?" She frowned. "I don't want to insult you, but most boys aren't interested in romance novels, are you looking for somewhere else?"  
  
Harry nodded. "We're looking for books to help us play pranks at school, to give us ideas and stuff."  
  
Lyra squealed excitedly. "Oh! I know the perfect book!" She vanished.  
  
Ron and Harry quickly left the romance section, finding themselves in the Quidditch section instead. That caused them both to sigh in relief.  
  
A second later Lyra reappeared by their side, not seeming to notice that they were in a completely different area to before. "Here you are, this book used to be really popular and thew pranks in here are top quality. Really good, I don't know why people don't buy it any more. It might have something to do with the authors, I knew them you know. Well, what do you think?"  
  
Harry took the book from her and read the title. Then he grinned. "It's exactly what I want."  
  
***********************  
  
That night, Ron and Harry placed the book on the Weasley's kitchen table, sat down, and prepared to read.  
  
Harry opened the book to the title page. 


	2. The Title Page

^Title Page^  
  
The Marauder's Guide to Marauding at Hogwarts  
  
By Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs  
  
  
  
^Summary^  
  
How we survived years one through to seven. Pranks to play on your teachers, friends, casual acquaintances, enemies, and complete strangers.  
  
  
  
^Moony's Guide to the Marauders^  
  
Moony ~ Remus J Lupin, at your service. The teachers always thought I was the mature, sensible one; because of my good grades and tendency to NOT let the teachers see me playing pranks. They never knew that I was the mastermind behind over half our pranks.  
  
Wormtail ~ Next is Peter Pettigrew. Pete was never a suspect in the teacher's eyes, he looked too innocent and they underestimated him. He did a lot of the setting up of the pranks.  
  
Padfoot ~ Sirius Black. Ah yes, Paddy was one of the ones that the teachers always blamed. No poker face whatsoever. He didn't come up with all that many pranks, but the ones he did think up were brilliant.  
  
Prongs ~ The last Marauder, who actually came up with the term 'Marauder', the one who set the pranks up and came up with quite a few. James has an unfortunate liking for dungbombs, and because of that our professors are now all chronically afraid of them.  
  
  
  
^The Marauder's Dedications^  
  
Prongs ~ I dedicate my part in this book to two people: To Lily, the love of my life; and to Moony, who was the genius that came up with the idea for this book.  
  
Moony ~ To Lily, the best friend a guy could have, who wasn't a Marauder; to Luna, my favourite Christmas present; and to Cassia, the crazy girl I cant help but love.  
  
Wormtail ~ To Katie, my girlfriend, and to Cassia, for keeping Remus from getting us all killed by Professor McGonagall on many occasions.  
  
Padfoot ~ To Lily, for keeping Prongs in check; Cassia, for keeping Moony in check; Katie, for keeping Wormtail in check; Angel, for keeping me in check, and for Mrs Eliza Lupin, Moony's mum, for keeping us all in check.  
  
  
  
^A Last Word From Prongs^  
  
Just a quick note for any future Marauders. Be careful not to let the teachers catch you in the act, plead innocence until all hope is lost, run as fast as you can, and, especially if you're related to Moony or me, try not to demolish Hogwarts.  
  
  
  
^Warning From Padfoot^  
  
I highly suggest not trying any of this stuff unless you have either; a) a good alibi, b) really fast running ability, c) a lot of money and a bribe- able teacher, d) natural talent for pranking, or e) a wish to attempt to break our detention record. Yeah right, like that could happen!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well! Aren't you all wondering what else the book has stored in its pages? I am!  
  
AppleJuiceMaster and the person who reviewed anonymously? Thanks! I really appreciate it and I hope you both review again!  
  
And the rest of you? Review! Pretty please??? 


	3. Chapter One: Making of The Marauders

Chapter One - Making of the Marauders  
  
^Message^  
  
Sentences that start with ~ are Moony.  
  
Sentences that start with # are Prongs  
  
Sentences that start with * are Padfoot  
  
Sentences that start with + are Wormtail  
  
  
  
^The Actual Chapter^  
  
~The beginning of the Marauders started one fine day on the Hogwarts express.  
  
*In fact, it was our first day! Prongs and I walked into a compartment, and found ourselves face to face with the weirdest guy I have ever met.  
  
#If we're going to be honest, which for once we are, it was actually Moony who we met. He was alone in the compartment, so we joined him.  
  
+Not long after that, I came in. we got to talking, and found out that we all liked to play pranks.  
  
~We ended up spending most of the journey to Hogwarts planning what was our first prank at the school.  
  
+And our first detention.  
  
*We went up to the castle the way everyone does and all that, and were waiting to be Sorted. McGonagall called out my name, and I walked up. The hat said some very odd things, such as 'you are obvious prankster material, and Gryffindor will appreciate that the most' and put me in Gryffindor.  
  
~Then, of course, I was Sorted into Gryffindor, as were Prongsie and Wormy.  
  
#Moony, what have I told you about calling me Prongsie?  
  
+And me Wormy for that matter.  
  
~Nothing that I can remember. Anyway, we all ate and then skipped happily off to Gryffindor Tower, sniggering the whole time about this real slimeball that was sorted into Slytherin called....  
  
*SEVERUS SNAPE!!!  
  
#Who we will refer to from now on as Slimeball, as he has quite a large part in this little story.  
  
+Moony, Padfoot, stop sniggering.  
  
#Yeah, we know it's funny, but still!  
  
*Let's get back to the story, okay.  
  
~Yes, we plotted into the night, as we were the only boys Sorted into Gryffindor that year. The next day we would be putting our plan into action. And we even had the perfect target.  
  
#Next morning we saw our schedules, and we were all quite glad to see that the only class we had with Slytherins that day was History of Magic. Binns had only died the year before, and it was his first year as a ghost teacher.  
  
*We had all heard that Binns practically ignored his students even when he was alive, so we hoped that because he was now dead he'd ignore a nice little prank.  
  
+Snape and the rest of the Slytherins came in about five minutes late, all looking smug at skipping part of class. Binns didn't even notice them come in, he had already started to lecture about Goblin rebellions.  
  
  
  
  
  
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Harry closed the book with a snap. Ron looked up from where he had been sitting on the other side of the table and listening to Harry read.  
  
"Why'd you stop?"  
  
"It's nearly midnight," Harry replied. "Your mum'll go ballistic if we stay up any later."  
  
"Yeah, I forgot about that."  
  
"Why am I not surprised?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well! Imagine that! stopping in the middle of a chapter! Isn't that horrible of Harry???  
  
Tasty_Lemon ~ Your fav stories section? *faints* *Wakes up* And you had better keep writing your fic too, I wanna know what happens!  
  
Sarah Louise ~ Well, if the suspense is KILLING you, I have to update don't I? Don't want your death on me conscience.  
  
AppleJuiceMaster ~ Glad you made it back. Now, calm down a little, enjoy the chapter, and watch out for the men in white lab coats.  
  
merlina ~ nice song, and I'm writing!  
  
Chrisfaithalin ~ Hilarious? I hoped so. Thanks!  
  
Tasty Lemon ~ Keeping the good work up, I hope!  
  
Kit Petitedra ~ Yes, feel sorry for poor little Lyra....hm, maybe she'll make an appearance alter on.  
  
Thanks so much you guys for reviewing, makes me all happy! *looks meaningfully around at readers* meaning that now you'd better review! Or I'll....er, I dunno..........  
  
Bye!  
  
~TAS 


	4. Hermione Without Hogwarts: A History Isn...

The next morning after breakfast, Harry and Ron watched nervously as Hermione searched the Burrow frantically, what for they did not know.  
  
"Hermione," Percy asked after a few hours. "What on earth are you looking for???"  
  
Hermione glared at him. "And how is that any of YOUR business?" she demanded.  
  
Percy looked frightened. "Uh, I suppose it's not...."  
  
"Hermione, it's been our business since you started searching our house!" Ginny snapped.  
  
Hermione looked slightly put out, but told them. "I'm looking for my self- updating copy of Hogwarts: A History."  
  
After she told them that, they all searched. Hermione without Hogwarts: A History just wasn't Hermione. And Hermione that wasn't Hermione was a very scary thing.  
  
It wasn't long before they found it, and while she was sitting down in the lounge room to read, Ron and Harry grabbed the Marauder's Guide and sat at the kitchen table.  
  
Harry flipped open to the page they had been at. "Here we are. Ready Ron?"  
  
"Sure am."  
  
Harry began to read.  
  
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~So naturally we were all quite excited by the prospect of Slytherin torture with no teacher to notice. We pulled out our wands to begin.  
  
#The prank may not sound like much, but we were only first years, after all. Moony was the lucky one who got to hex Slimeball, I was aiming for this snobby Malfoy guy, Wormtail pointed his wand at this really whiny girl, and -  
  
*And I got to hex the rest of them! Lucky me! Anyway, Binns didn't notice anything, and neither did the Slytherins at first.  
  
~But sooner or later someone had to notice, and that someone was Snape. He looked over at Malfoy, and gasped.  
  
+The other Slytherins looked up then, and saw Malfoy's hair. And Snape's. And everyone else's. And then they realized that they themselves must have had the same thing done to them.  
  
#I wondered if maybe ghosts are colour-blind, because even as Binns looked up he didn't seem to notice.  
  
*The Slytherins didn't really look like Slytherins just then. No, they looked like Gryffindor supporters.  
  
~We had turned their hair red and gold. Our colours. And of course, there's the little fact that we had also changed their robes into pink and blue tutus.  
  
*We didn't think we would get caught, and indeed we didn't. they couldn't prove that, out of all the other first year Gryffindors, that it was us. In fact, we weren't even suspected due to Moony's loud conversation with Prongs at lunch about the exact goblin rebellion that Binns had been lecturing about.  
  
#Very smart of our Moony to read up on the subject, we're proud of ya mate!  
  
+Yeah Moony, you rule!  
  
~Aw quit it guys; you're making me blush!  
  
*Whoo! Moony blushing! Now that I haven't seen since he got caught snogging with Cassia in the Astronomy Tower by Professor Dumbledore.  
  
~And you know about that how?  
  
*I have my ways.  
  
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Harry closed the book with a grin. "End of the chapter," he explained, seeing the disappointment on Ron's face. "We'll read some more after Quidditch."  
  
"Yeah! Quidditch!" Ron yelled.  
  
They left and joined the other Weasley boys in the game.  
  
  
  
  
  
Yay, Harry finished reading the chapter! And now you have, you can review!  
  
Frankie ~ Snape, Slimeball. Synonymous really. Glad you like it!  
  
chrisfaithalin ~ Due to the fact that I updated, it is no longer necessary to hunt me down and kill me. is there?  
  
AppleJuiceMaster ~ One must always ACT normal, then they think you are. I don't think anyone noticed you laughing like a maniac, but try not to do it again. If you get put in the rubber room you wont be able to keep reading!  
  
WormmonABC ~ Why thank you! And I like those sayings....  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Thanks! I'm gonna faint again about the fav's list thing. Or not.  
  
BadgerBraveSweety ~ Thanks!  
  
Mssr. Moony ~ You think I got their personalities? Thanks! Glad you is liking.  
  
Tasty Lemon ~ Not stopping, still going, and sorry it's so short!  
  
Angry Stags Are Bad ~ Thank you!  
  
Erin ~ Thanks!  
  
silver10fire ~ Eeep! I continued! No over-internet strangling please!  
  
ninni ~ the suspense is killing you too huh? Hope this is okay!  
  
Diva937 ~ Thanks! Soon enough I hope?  
  
See ya all later!  
  
Don't forget to REVIEW!!!  
  
~TAS 


	5. Chapter Two: The Actual Naming of the Ma...

KEY: Sentences that start with ~ are Moony.  
  
Sentences that start with # are Prongs  
  
Sentences that start with * are Padfoot  
  
Sentences that start with + are Wormtail  
After an exhausting game of Quidditch, Harry and Ron went back into the kitchen, planning on reading more of the book.  
  
Unfortunately, Mrs Weasley was already there, and had shooed them out. They took the book up to Ron's bedroom instead.  
  
Harry opened the book and began to read the second chapter.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
Chapter Two - The Actual Naming Of The Marauders  
  
#Now, you may have noticed that we didn't get the aforementioned detention for what we did to the Slytherins. Well, sadly, that story isn't over.  
  
~We were quite amused by the fact that the Slytherins were still wearing their tutus, and then Padfoot came up with a brilliant idea.  
  
*Yes, it was quite brilliant if I do say so myself.  
  
+Ahem. Anyway, Moony thought it was brilliant, and he and Padfoot convinced Prongs and me that we could pull it off.  
  
#For some reason, I didn't think it was a good idea, but the temptation was too great.  
  
~Yes, it is very tempting to do anything to Slytherins, Snape and Malfoy in particular.  
  
#Padfoot's bright idea, which wasn't all that bright, was to make the hair of the Slytherins (from our class) reach the floor. And turn it pink.  
  
+Florescent pink.  
  
*So we gave into temptation, performed the prank, were caught by McGonagall, and ended up scrubbing the Potions classroom's floor with toothbrushes.  
  
~Which wouldn't have been so bad, but.....  
  
#Oh, it was terrible!  
  
+I can't say it!  
  
*The toothbrushes were, were, were, BRIGHT PINK AND THEY SUNG ANNOYING HAPPY CHILDREN'S SONGS!!!!!  
  
~*Sob* It was pure torture, because they WOULDN'T SHUT UP!!!  
  
#And it nearly sent Moony insane. The only thing that saved him was one of my better ideas.  
  
+And so, with help from Prongs's brilliant mind, we plotted our revenge for the singing toothbrushes.  
  
~To start with, we turned the classroom pink and made it sing!!!  
  
+But not while we were still in it of course!  
  
#And then we coated the floor in DEAD CATERPILLARS!!  
  
*And THEN we snuck out and did the same to McGonagall's classroom, Binn's classroom, and just for good measure, the Gryffindor first year girls' dorms.  
  
~We were woken up that morning by shrieking from the girls' dorms. For some reason they immediately suspected us, and so we got an early morning visit from Cassia, Lily, Angel and Katie.  
  
#For some reason they didn't appreciate our redecoration, nor did they like their new foot long green noses.  
  
+Can you tell we all spent our respective holidays researching?  
  
*I just can't understand why they didn't like their noses. I liked them, and I said so.  
  
~Sadly, all of this began a prank war between the girls and us boys.  
  
*But the main thing I can remember is Lily shrieking, "You little marauding brats!"  
  
~We took the name 'Marauder's' and kept it ever since.  
  
#We once told Lily where we got the name, and she hexed me.  
  
+*Laughs* Oh yes, I remember that! She turned you into a blue pumpkin, right?  
  
#*Sighs impatiently* Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail, stop laughing. Moony, get off the floor. It wasn't that funny.  
  
~Yes it was!  
  
#No it wasn't!  
  
~Was!  
  
#Not!  
  
~Was!  
  
#Not!  
  
~Was!  
  
#Not!  
  
~Was!  
  
#Not!  
  
~Was!  
  
#Not!  
  
~Was!  
  
#Not!  
  
*It bloody well was, Prongs, now get the heck over it!  
  
+Yeah!  
  
~*Smirk*  
  
#*Mumbling* Bastards.  
  
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Laughing hysterically, Ron and Harry raced downstairs, responding to the well-timed call of "Lunch!" from Mrs Weasley. They'd just finished the chapter.  
  
Hermione looked up from Hogwarts: A History, and looked at the disapprovingly. "What's so funny?"  
  
"Nothing!" they responded innocently.  
  
Percy smirked.  
Is that Percy smirking I see? The worlds going to end!!!  
  
Please review!  
  
Chou ~ I'd never dream of never finishing this! Glad you like!  
  
padfootgurl ~ calm down! Glad you like!  
  
chaser ~ thanks!  
  
Lucky_719 ~ I don't want you to go mad, so here's the next chapter! Hope I wasn't too late!  
  
AppleJuiceMaster ~ It's okay, Lucius wont have a heart attack, because without Draco the world would end. Aw, thanks for the flowers.  
  
WormmonABC ~ Er, sorry about that....  
  
Flyingphilosopher ~ Yeah, Remy rules. I hope your health didn't depend on me updating too long ago.  
  
Chrisfaithalin ~ Yay! You're not going to kill me! I hope.....  
  
'Lo ~ Oh. I hope this is soon enough, because I really don't want you to rip me limb from limb. I'm glad you like it though.  
  
iceprincess22 ~ I took your advice, and there is now a key at the top. Thanks!  
  
Tasty Lemon ~ here's some more....btw, that happy dance is disturbing.  
  
Diva937 ~ I wrote, really! As fast as I could, too!  
  
Mssr.Moony ~ Some temporary relief, I suppose!  
  
lulu ~ Thanks!  
  
mrsharrypotter ~ I didn't mean to make you choke, I love those lines too! Hope the wait didn't kill you like you said it might. Oh! I haven't gotten around to reading your fic yet, I'll do that asap!  
  
Tasty Lemon ~ Nice to see you again! I wrote!  
  
Blackcat8610 ~ No need for an Internet petition. And I don't know about Percy not getting it, he's acting odd.  
  
~TAS 


	6. Chapter Three: The Potions Experience

KEY: Sentences that start with ~ are Moony.  
  
Sentences that start with # are Prongs  
  
Sentences that start with * are Padfoot  
  
Sentences that start with + are Wormtail  
  
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The Weasleys, Harry and Hermione ate lunch quickly, and soon they were getting back to what they had been doing before.  
  
Mr Weasley wandered out to his shed, more likely than not fiddling around with some Muggle device or another.  
  
Mrs Weasley was knitting in her chair. Ginny was sitting near her, working on a boring essay for History of Magic.  
  
Fred and George, as usual, were up to no good. They were ganging up on an unsuspecting Charlie, who was trying to polish his Cleansweep Seven.  
  
Bill was attempting to build a tower with his exploding snap cards, while trying to ignore Hermione, who was ranting on to whoever would listen about something she'd read in Hogwarts: A History.  
  
Harry and Ron, of course, ran upstairs as soon as they could, hoping to get back to The Marauder's Guide.  
  
No one knew where Percy was.  
  
"C'mon Harry, get reading!"  
  
"Keep your hair on Ronald, I've got to find the page! Aha! Here we are! Ready?"  
  
"Been that way for two minutes."  
  
"Oh shut up!"  
  
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Chapter Three - The Potions Experience  
  
~Our first Potions lesson was, shall we say, quite the experience.  
  
*Ah yes, our first meeting with the infamous....  
  
#Professor Snuffy!!!  
  
+Ahem. That's Professor Weston, actually.  
  
*But we called him Professor Snuffy.  
  
#Because of a terrible ailment that just refused to leave him be over the year he taught us.  
  
*Poor Professor Snuffy suffered from a terrible cold six and a half days out of seven.  
  
+We used to wish that he'd pass it on to Snape, but it wasn't to be.  
  
~Such a nice man, Professor Snuffy.  
  
[Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs](Staring open-mouthed at Moony)  
  
~What? What did I say?  
  
[Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs](Stills staring in silent shock)  
  
~Aw, c'mon guys, I was being sarcastic!  
  
[Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs] Ooooohhhhh.  
  
~(Rolls eyes) I'm SURROUNDED by IDIOTS!  
  
*Hey! I resemble that remark!  
  
#(Laughs) You sure do!  
  
*Huh? What? No - I didn't mean - ugh.  
  
+(Sympathetic) They get you, Paddy?  
  
*(Sniffs) Yeah. I feel so alone......  
  
~Anyway, the truth is, Weston was a mean bastard, intent on making our lives more miserable than his.  
  
#That would have taken an awful lot of work, had he succeeded.  
  
+But he didn't! We survived!  
  
*(Dryly) Yay us.  
  
#So, we arrived at the Potions classroom, went inside, and took our seats.  
  
*Because we're such good little children!  
  
~Or, ya know, not. Not long after that, Lily, Cassia, Katie and Angel showed up, and then the Slytherins arrived.  
  
+After we'd sat still like obedient little firsties -  
  
# - If there is such a thing as an obedient firstie -  
  
+(Ignoring Prongs) - for about five minutes, Padfoot started getting bored.  
  
#And I pity anyone who has to put up with a bored Padfoot in the future.  
  
*I feel so unloved.....  
  
~And poor, bored little Padfoot turned to Prongs and said -  
  
# "If the teacher doesn't show up in the next five minutes, I'm going to start throwing those dungbombs I brought."  
  
*Unfortunately, Weston was standing right behind me, and he confiscated my dungbombs and gave me detention.  
  
+And then the wretched old git made us make a very boring, yet difficult, invisibility potion.  
  
*And Moony, being the genius that he is, immediately saw the brilliant opportunities that this potion would bring us, so he made sure to write down the recipe nice and clearly.  
  
~Luckily Weston didn't notice, because we didn't actually have to write it down.  
  
#So we finished a torturous potions class, in which Wormtail melted one cauldron, Malfoy managed to get his potion all over his hand and scream like a girl when it disappeared, and Padfoot 'accidentally' spilt some on his potion on Snape's head.  
  
*It was well worth the second detention to hear Slimeball's panicked voice while we couldn't see his head.  
  
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Harry and Ron couldn't stop laughing; unable to get the image of Snape out of their heads.  
  
Hermione knocked on Ron's door. "Guys, could you come with me to Diagon Alley? I want to go back to that bookstore and get another book."  
  
Harry and Ron glanced at each other. Then they looked back at Hermione. The expression on her face made their minds up.  
  
"Sure thing Hermione," they said as one.  
  
The three of them Flooed to the Leaky Cauldron, and they followed Hermione to the bookstore.  
  
Hermione immediately ran off somewhere, leaving Harry and Ron looking around, completely bored. They just wanted to go back to the Burrow and read.  
  
"Hello boys!" said a voice behind them suddenly.  
  
They turned. A brown haired witch, wearing bright pink robes, was standing near them, beaming.  
  
"Hi Lyra," Harry replied.  
  
"Yeah, hi," Ron added.  
  
"So, what do you think of the book you bought yesterday?" she asked them.  
  
"It's great," Harry replied enthusiastically. "I was wondering though, because you said you knew the authors, are you in it? We're only up to the fourth chapter."  
  
Lyra giggled. "Oh, I'm in a few parts. I was a Gryffindor the year below them. I wont be in the first section."  
  
Harry opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.  
  
"Harry! Ron! Come on, we're going!"  
  
They both sighed.  
  
"See you later, Lyra," Harry said. "Thanks again, for finding that book for us."  
  
"Oh, it wasn't a problem," she assured him. "Now, you'd best not keep that young lady waiting. I'll see you boys another time."  
  
"Bye!" they called as they headed towards Hermione.  
  
They returned to the Leaky Cauldron, Flooed back to the Burrow, and went back to previous activities.  
  
Harry and Ron, however, were prevented from their reading by Percy, who was sitting on Ron's bed.  
  
"What do you want, Percy?" Ron asked irritably.  
  
Percy smirked, and opened his mouth to reply.  
  
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What do you mean, I left a cliffhanger??? *Checks* Oh. Oops.  
  
chaser ~ Thanks!  
  
untitled12 ~ Thanks, I'll continue!  
  
AppleJuiceMaster ~ Thank you. Sorry it took so long, I was uninspired. I'll try to update sooner next time!  
  
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Calm Serene ~ Thank you! And of course you can use the book idea! Just as long as you tell me when you've posted it, so I can read it!  
  
JadedKatrina ~ Thank you! And that talking backwards idea is great, can I use it?  
  
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starborn ~ Hm. What can I say to 'yay!'? I'm guessing you like it though, so thanks!  
  
Two Bored Idiots ~ Heh heh, Luna does a bit of travelling between stories. Hm, that'd explain where she disappeared to in chapter eight....  
  
Lemon ~ I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please don't cry! Here, the chapter is done! And thanks for this review, because you convinced me to write this chapter!!!  
  
Thanks, guys.  
  
Please review!  
  
~TAS 


	7. Chapter Four: The Tale of Halloween

KEY: Sentences that start with ~ are Moony.  
  
Sentences that start with # are Prongs  
  
Sentences that start with * are Padfoot  
  
Sentences that start with + are Wormtail  
  
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"What makes you think I want anything, Ronald?" Percy asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Because you're in Ron's room, sitting on Ron's bed, smirking at Ron, when we all know perfectly well that you avoid this room like the plague," Harry pointed out. "The only room you avoid more is the twin's room, and EVERYONE avoids that!"  
  
Percy frowned slightly. "Aw damn. You weren't supposed to say that, Harry! I was going to sit here and annoy you both for hours!"  
  
"Percy, just get to the reason you're here," Harry snapped impatiently. Ron, who had been staring at his brother in silent shock (at seeming to have a sense of humour after all), managed to nod emphatically.  
  
"Well, Fred and George have, as I'm sure you know, been using me as a test subject since the beginning of last summer. I want to get them back."  
  
"What does this have to do with us?" Ron asked, finally regaining his voice.  
  
Percy smirked again, unnerving his brother. "I, unlike most people, know perfectly well who has taken over Fred and George's mantle as Hogwarts pranksters. And I'd like their help in my revenge."  
  
Ron was even more unnerved by Percy's knowledge, but Harry could see the advantage of a business agreement with Percy.  
  
"Percy, I know that we, or at least me, would be delighted to help. On one condition," he cautioned.  
  
"What's that Harry?" the ex-Head Boy asked, honestly curious.  
  
"When you come to Hogwarts this year as DADA assistant for Remus, make sure that he and everyone you talk to knows that we got the better of the Great Gred and Forge Weasley."  
  
Percy's eyes widened. "How did you know about that?" he demanded.  
  
Harry gave a smirk rather reminiscent of Percy's. Ron gave a slight whimper and sat down on his bed, twitching slightly. "I have my sources at the school, even during summer."  
  
"Remus told you," Percy stated.  
  
"Yep. So Perce, did you have anything particular in mind for our dear pranksters?"  
  
Percy nodded, and then eyed Ron, who was very pale and seemed worried. "But we'll leave that for another time. I think my brother would benefit from a bit of light reading."  
  
"All right. I'll talk to you after Ron's calmed down, okay?"  
  
"Sure thing Harry," he answered before opening the door, stepping out and closing it again.  
  
"Ron?"  
  
"Errg."  
  
"Ron???"  
  
"Uuhhhhn."  
  
"Ronald Weasley!"  
  
"Eeeep!"  
  
Harry sighed. "D'you want to get back to our book, Ron?"  
  
"Ummmmm................."  
  
"Well, Ron?"  
  
Ron nodded, eyes somewhat glazed over.  
  
Harry picked up the book and flipped to chapter four, hoping that the Marauder's exploits would be enough to snap Ron out of his shock. 'Poor thing' he thought before beginning to read, 'having first Percy then me smirking must have traumatised him.'  
  
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Chapter Four – The Tale of Halloween  
  
~The next month simply flew by. We didn't really have time for pranks, as all our teachers were piling up the homework.  
  
+Which, of course, Padfoot and Prongs ignored until the night before it was due, before panicking and finishing it all at the last minute possible.  
  
~Of course, that didn't stop them being the top two students in our class.  
  
*And Moony's being modest, again!  
  
#We'll have to cure him of that one of these days.  
  
*What Moony isn't saying is that he too was top of the class.  
  
+And I wasn't, of course.  
  
*Aw, but Wormy, you weren't at the bottom either.  
  
+Stop calling me Wormy, dammit!  
  
~Ahem. Can we get back on track here people?  
  
+Sure.  
  
*Terribly sorry, Moony, old boy.  
  
#We were in the Great Hall eating breakfast one Saturday, about a week before Halloween, when our beloved Headmaster decided to make an announcement.  
  
~This announcement, of course, was that he had decided to have an annual Halloween Party. Attendance was compulsory for all students and teachers.  
  
+I believe it was the word 'compulsory' was the one that began the process of sneaky thoughts for Moony, Padfoot and Prongs. Because if people had to attend, then they could be sure that said people, namely Malfoy and Snape of course, would be there to be pranked.  
  
#Because we didn't have classes, we were able to leave breakfast as soon as possible (Which took a while for Padfoot to finish eating) –  
  
*Hey!  
  
~Give it up, Paddy, you know it's true.  
  
*You guys are so meeeeeeeaaaaaan...........................  
  
+But at least WE are honest.  
  
*Meanies.  
  
~Oh grow up. Prat.  
  
*Git.  
  
+BOYS! Prongs is Death Glaring you. So shut up.  
  
#So where was I? Oh yes, I remember now. After finally leaving breakfast, we went straight up to the dorms to discuss things.  
  
~Like what pranks we were going to play, how we were going to embarrass Snape and Malfoy................you get the point.  
  
#And so, a week later we arrived at the Halloween party, ready to prank our 'favourite' Slytherins.  
  
*Not to mention the rest of the houses. We're not terribly picky about these sorts of things.  
  
+Moony began festivities ten minutes into the party. And he began with Malfoy, while Prongs worked the same spell on Snape.  
  
~It was one of Padfoot's brilliant ideas, one that he'd come up with over the summer but never found the spells to carry out.  
  
*Prongs and Wormtail managed to find the spells for me, and so we decided to play this prank on our Slytherin rivals.  
  
#Seconds later, Snape and Malfoy were each sporting a nice, long, orange and green tail. With a snake's head.  
  
+That snake then began biting them on the butt.  
  
*It didn't really hurt them, but each time they bit, Snape and Malfoy's skin got a little more orange.  
  
~While their hair got a little more green.  
  
+We then performed the spell on each of the Slytherins, turning them all green with orange hair.  
  
*We did this so Snape and Malfoy would stick out.  
  
~Then we turned on the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. The 'Puffs we gave blue and yellow snakes (yellow hair, blue skin), and the 'Claws got purple skin and red hair.  
  
#And despite house loyalty, we also gave our fellow Gryffs tails. Gold skin, red hair.  
  
*We ARE still being quite biased here – we stuck with house colours.  
  
+Due to the fact that we didn't, at the time, have a death wish, we left the teachers (and each other) alone.  
  
~We then decided that we'd shown up, and therefore we'd made our compulsory attendance. It was well and truly time to split.  
  
+In case Moony's explanation seems a little vague, let me clarify that – we ran.  
  
~Once out of the Great Hall, Wormtail and I went one way and Padfoot and Prongs went the other.  
  
#Sadly, the teachers followed us and not them.  
  
+We got away scot-free. Sadly, for the other two, it was not to be.  
  
*Detention for a week, with Professor Snuffy and Professor Minnie (aka McGonagall) alternating days.  
  
~On the other hand, while the tails went away after half an hour, our fellow students were still coloured very nicely for the next week.  
  
#The Gryffs, 'Puffs and 'Claws thought it was funny, really. The Slyths swore revenge.  
  
*I do believe that was when we really got prank-war-like with the Slytherins.  
  
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Harry closed the book, sniggering. "I like that idea. Think we could use it?"  
  
Ron shrugged, grinning. "Maybe. Not on Fred and George though."  
  
"No, we need something BIG for them!"  
  
His friend nodded. "Yeah. Wanna go play Quidditch before dinner? We can read another chapter after we've eaten, and then talk business with Percy."  
  
It seemed as though Ron had quite recovered from his smirking brother and best friend. "Sure thing. Let's go."  
  
And so they did.  
  
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Gosh, Percy seems to have had a personality transplant! Heh heh, isn't that fun?  
  
Yes, I DO know that I ought to be shot for taking so damn long with this chapter. I'm really sorry.  
  
I would now like to extend heartfelt thanks to the following people:  
  
~liannonfaeelf  
  
~dragonsprincess  
  
~Anrion  
  
~Evil Crazy Willow  
  
~She-Who-Undoubtedly-Is-Physo  
  
~RunningInCircles  
  
~Deirdre of the Sorrows  
  
~Kawaii Kitty9  
  
~Sploogal  
  
~Lemon3  
  
~bec  
  
~A Bit of Old Parchment  
  
~MoonyIsTheBest  
  
~Lady Stone  
  
~MoonFaith  
  
~insane werewolf luva  
  
~Kalorna Enera  
  
~I Love PPC  
  
~Marauder Number 5  
  
~Sarah Rudzin  
  
~Julia and Malu (For one, I'm a girl. Two, an Aussie is someone from Australia. No, I don't think you're being donkeys at all.)  
  
~sexy crookshanks  
  
~SilverBlue Shifter  
  
~Divine Wolf  
  
~the full moony  
  
Again, thanks everyone!  
  
Please review!  
  
~TAS 


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